In Indian families having babies is seen as an important aspect of marriage. “Right after marriage there was immense pressure on me and my husband to have a baby. Eventually I agreed and we had a baby girl who is now four but I cannot connect to her,” confesses Dolly Gupta. Sometimes girls decide on having a baby for the wrong reasons. Here is a list of wrong reasons to have a child:
To save your marriage: If you feel your marriage had become stagnant and boring a baby will not save it! Having a baby doesn’t infuse extra love into a marriage. Responsibility, at times, makes marriages flounder and ultimately the child also suffers.
For the sake of in-laws, family pressure: In India this is often the top reason for bearing a child. The family, in-laws or an influx of relatives want to hear the ‘good news’. But a baby for your extended family will always mean a plaything ultimately it will be your responsibility.
You love the idea of a baby: A baby is a cute, cooing angel. You can play with him, take him out, etc but in reality a baby means responsibility, doctor visits, and endless rounds of food and diapers. We are not even mentioning the lack of sleep and non-stop wailing!
Biological clock is ticking: Get married after 30 and everyone will tell you to conceive before it is too late. Consult with a gynecologist to know how late can you have a baby. With advances in science women at 50 also bear babies.
Attention: Your sister-in-law had a baby and is getting a lot of attention? She has to do no work? Is this reason enough to have a child? We don’t think so and neither should you.
Having a baby is a life long commitment. Do not have a child for the sake of experimenting. A baby needs care, love and a great family environment. Before having one make sure you are mentally, physically and emotionally ready.
